Sometimes life is just a lot.
Maybe you've been sick. Maybe you've been through loss, stress, burnout, heartbreak or a major transition. Maybe you've spent years taking care of everyone else.
Maybe you're doing fine and simply haven't had enough room lately to hear yourself think.
You don't need a diagnosis.
You don't need a crisis.
You don't need to come here to fix yourself.
After Everything is four days in Laytonville built around something I've come to believe deeply: when we give ourselves enough space to pay attention, we're often remarkably good at knowing what we need.
There will be meditation, journaling, conversation, silent walks, art, vision boarding, movement, sauna, cold plunge, really good food, nature, games, laughter and adventures.
There will also be plenty of time when absolutely nothing is scheduled.
Everything is an invitation
If everyone else is meditating and you need to sleep, go back to bed.
If we're journaling and you'd rather paint, paint.
If everyone is talking and you want to walk silently through the garden, go.
If you want to laugh and play a ridiculous game, please do.
There is no correct way to do this retreat. The idea is to get quiet enough to hear yourself — and then practice trusting what you hear.
Arrive
The first day is about arriving, not accomplishing.
We'll eat, get settled, explore the property and meet each other. There will be an opening conversation, introductory meditation and body-awareness practice.
After that? Maybe sauna. Maybe cold plunge. Maybe garden. Maybe art. Maybe nap.
We'll share dinner and an evening meditation and spend our first night in silence.
Be
Part of this retreat is intentionally slow.
We'll have opportunities for meditation, journaling, conversation, gentle movement and body awareness. And then we're going to do something that can be surprisingly difficult: nothing.
Seriously. Large chunks of time will have no itinerary.
Sleep. Read. Walk. Sauna. Sit in the garden. Drink tea. Stare at something. Pet an animal. Make something.
You do not need to use your free time productively.
Make something
Art has been part of my life for decades. I have a degree in fine arts and outdoor education and have worked with painting, bookmaking, sewing, costume making, masks, mixed media and plenty of things that don't fit neatly into a category.
There will be art and craft supplies available throughout the retreat — paint, paper, collage materials, fabric, sewing supplies, bookmaking materials, mask-making materials, glue, scissors, things to cut apart and things to put back together differently.
And yes: vision boarding.
You can make something deeply meaningful. You can make something completely ridiculous. You can start something and never finish it. You can make a vision board for whatever comes next. Or you can completely ignore the art supplies.
Again, there is no correct way to do this.
Explore
At some point, we'll ask: what sounds good today?
Depending on the weather, season and what everyone is feeling, we may go somewhere. I might take you to one of my favorite secluded river spots. We might explore the Angelo Coast Range Reserve. We might walk the neighboring 100-acre property. We might pack dinner, drive about 40 minutes to the Mendocino Coast and spend the evening watching the sun go down at the beach.
Or we may collectively decide that leaving the house sounds terrible. Then we don't.
There isn't a failed version of the day.
Meditation
You do not need to know how to meditate.
I've practiced meditation regularly for nearly a decade and have completed four ten-day Vipassana silent meditation retreats as well as volunteering at two.
Interestingly, those intensive retreats weren't what finally made meditation part of my everyday life. In 2017, a friend posted on Facebook about research showing that a regular meditation practice can create measurable changes in the brain, including changes involving gray matter. I joked that I'd meditate for fifteen minutes every day if he reminded me.
So he did. Every morning for six months, I got a text. And I meditated.
That simple daily practice became something much larger. Over the years I've developed an extraordinarily strong awareness of physical sensation and learned how profoundly relaxation, attention and our mental state can affect the way we experience our bodies. Meditation has brought me an enormous amount of relief, insight and peace.
I'll share what I've learned. You decide what's useful to you.
Who is this for?
You don't need to be spiritual. You don't need to meditate. You don't need to be going through a crisis. You don't need to arrive with a goal. And you don't have to explain why you need this.
Maybe you're exhausted. Maybe you've been through something. Maybe life has changed. Maybe you're figuring out what comes next. Maybe you're doing perfectly well and would simply like four days when nobody needs anything from you.
Come anyway.
After everything
You don't need to come here to become a better version of yourself. Come as the version you are.
Sleep when you're tired. Eat when you're hungry. Talk when you want to talk. Be quiet when you don't. Paint something. Make a vision board. Walk through 100 acres. Go to the river. Watch the sun set over the Pacific. Meditate. Get in the sauna. Take the cold plunge — or absolutely don't.
Play. Laugh. Rest. Pay attention. Trust yourself.
And don't forget the magic.